Life is full of contradictions

The things that people told me not to do, they did.
Some people told me they will not like certain people, yet they fall in love with those people.
Some people said they yearned to be low profile, but yet telling others how good they are at things.

Life sometimes is a joke, full of contradictions. Sometimes they don’t realize that the words they said, people are listening, and remembering. Their opposed actions really made themselves looked like clown in front of others. Say, when you think you are damn sure, if not, don’t say till so certain.

Dictative, its another horrible trait one can possess. Don’t tell me to follow your pace when you did not show me how good you are, and just because you think that you are correct. Ask me to follow you when you are as lost as me is another stupidious thing to do.

Contradiction, sometimes can be very abstract, just like maths, is a good thing to appreciate but yet sometimes hard to see. Observe, realize, and SMILES!!!

Song: Lovebug

LoveBug by Jonas Brothers

called her for the first time yesterday
finally found the missing part of me
felt so close, but you were far away
left me without anything to say

now i’m speechless, over the edge
i’m just breathless
i never thought that i’d catch this
lovebug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i’d get hit
by this lovebug again

i can’t get your smile out of my mind
(can’t get you out of my mind)
i think about your eyes all the time
you’re beautiful, but you don’t even try
(don’t even, don’t even try)
modesty is just so hard to find

now i’m speechless, over the edge
i’m just breathless
i never thought that i’d catch this
lovebug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i’d get hit
by this lovebug again

kissed her for the first time yesterday
everything i wished that it would be
suddenly i forgot how to speak
hopeless, breathless
baby, can’t you see?

now i’m…

now i’m speechless, over the edge
i’m just breathless
i never thought that i’d catch this
lovebug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i’d get hit
by this lovebug again
lovebug again

                                                                                               
Addicted to this song.  This song kept circling in my mind. Wow!!!

Flashback: On impulsiveness

Act on impulsiveness, is sometimes a step towards another regret. Sometimes, you just can’t let your moment of frustration, your emotions, to rule over you, and let you make irreversible mistakes.

I still remember the time when I told my once a very good friend, and maybe a soulmate if she treated me as one during that time, that I like her, despite she was attached. What a terrible mistake that I had made, and that caused me to lose a friend. She just felt awkward when she saw me, and our contact seemed to diminish and vanish over time. Impulsiveness kills. I just hate it.

I would not make another Deja Vu, hopefully!

Mind over body!

Isn’t it obvious?

Action does tell what is going on, and sometimes words are not used, so as to avoid any unnecessary hard feelings. But does the message conveyed properly, or is there any distortion in the message? I don’t know.

I tried to avoid someone as much as possible, and showed disinterested face, accompanied with moody tone, but yet she felt nothing at all? To do it more explicitly and more obviously, I purposely shared jokes and talked to another friend, showing how I enjoyed the company of the other in front of her, in contrast to the attitude that I showed her. But, she still don’t care? Seriously, I don’t know.

I am a person of not willing to commit one-sidedly, for anything when it regards to things that is not one dimensional ME. Sometimes, I just could not take the feeling of trying to contribute and yet people made me feel that I am not being appreciated and it seems that they are not interested at all. It could be quite disheartening. For me, I tried to salvage the situation by not getting too heavily involved, and I did not avoid anyone. It was just merely, just avoid getting hurt in the long process. So, just keep it short.

My actions might be weird to someone else. But I am a straightforward person, just that I am not a man that wants to cause a conflict. I am not good at words. I will just use my actions to represent me, and please understand. Or maybe I am just a saddist.

KNS

2 tests on the way again – this friday. And, though focusing right at the start in churning out the helpsheets and trying to mug, my mind still wanders off. ( As you can see, I am blogging! Haha..) And, I just finished watching a movie. OMG!

Please control yourself! You suck!

干爸爹

This coming week, so seriously important and packed. On the go, tomorrow, its workshop (stayover). It will end roughly in the late afternoon the next day. Then straight after at night, recce for my event, and finally another stayover in Changi for another event. WHAT!!!
Next week got 2 tests, and have to mug and mug.
OMG!

GAM-BA-TEH

Song: Love Song

Sara Bareilles – Love Song

Head underwater
And they tell me
To breathe easy for a while
breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me;
It’s too soon to see
If I’m happy in your hands
I’m unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one,
you see

I’m not gonna write you
a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or breaking this
if you’re on your way

I’m not gonna write you to
stay
If all you have is leavin’,
I’ma need a better reason
To write you
A love song
Today
Today,Yeah

I learned the hard way
That they all say
things you want to hear

my heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convince me to please you
Make me think that I need this too
I’m trying to let you hear me as I am

I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one,
you see

I’m not gonna write you
a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or breaking this
if you’re on your way

I’m not gonna write you to
stay
If all you have is leavin’,
I’ma need a better reason
To write you
A love song
Today

Promise me that you’ll leave the light on
To help me see
With daylight, my guide, gone
’cause I believe there’s a way you can love me
Because I say
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one,
you see

I’m not gonna write you
a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
’cause you asked for it?
’cause you need one?
You see

I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or break in this
Or you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you
to stay

If your heart is nowhere in it
I don’t want it for a minute
Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There’s a reason to write you
a love song
Today
                                                                                                 
Don’t know why I am addicted to this song. OMG!!

Jealousy, oh that sucks..

I hate the feeling of being jealous, being envious of what people have and I don’t.

Some people are born smart; Some people are born in a rich and complete family: Some people they are just plain lucky.

Seriously, I can’t stand it. Should I care so much or not? It is my life, and isn’t my life interesting if no comparison with these people is used?

Today, my sis, her boyfriend and I were celebrating my mum’s birthday, and like every year, my mum will asked us to take her out for dinner and buy cake, when my sis and I, were supposed to do that without being reminded. Everytime she reminded us, it felt as though there seems to be some thoughtfulness lost in the process. Everytime I heard of friends having a very strong family bond, every little things that they did for their family, I always wondered when its gonna to fall on me.

Frustrated once more…. NO!

Time is really not enough! I did not blog for so long!

Plagued by illness, both me and my laptop. Right now, though my laptop is pretty okay, should be fine to me, but alot of systems and softwares are lost, and I need to reinstall again. Where got time. Alamak…
As for me, seriously speaking, I hate falling sick. Tried to do my tutorials and assignments, but my brain kept asking me to rest. 2 consecutive of 11 hours of sleep, still did not work it out. Now, still suffering from mild cough and fatigueness. Shit!!

Illness illness please leave me alone.
Bad luck bad luck scram!

backup backup

What a day! Anything that comes under my hand, basically…go faulty or die. My poor little laptop suffered the most. Kept shutting down.
Panic panic! My whole day was freaking panic! Don’t even have time to do tutorials and assignments. And now, though it looks it has been back to normal, thanks to Andy, my saviour of the day, I still felt that my laptop is “sick”. Seriously, I am really worried. Copying and backup my files now.