Singlish Singlish

It just so hilarious watching a Caucasian speaking Singlish. Funny funny

All work but no play makes me a dull boy

I need to go back into some sporty action soon, after recent busy times over both family and academic matters.

Nike Run is also coming soon. Need to do some running also.

Food for thought

I have read the post on the longest words in English dictionary. And, across it, I found this post that is rather interesting.

The longest words that are reverse images of each other are stressed and desserts.

With this, I had a random thought in mind. When you are stressed, how about going for some desserts?

Cravings!!!!

Awesome!!!

This magic is very awesome!!

random jokes

The first one came with a moral of the story, while the second, contains some ‘complexity’ and I would suggest not to read it as it might corrupt your thoughts. =p

Joke 1:
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
“Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!” exclaimed the eager salesman.
“Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that” asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, “Why, madam?”
“There’s no electricity in the house…” said the lady.

Moral of the story: Be damn sure of what is happening before you do or promise something that you can’t fulfill.

Joke 2:
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest sitting beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
“Of course, child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits. I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me…under your robe, perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you…I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”
When they got to Customs, the woman let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date…unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”

Resources: laughitout.com

What facts!

I have been reading funny facts and quotes of life. And I found some of these which are rather quite factual and funny. These are some of the facts about the negative aspects of gender.

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

Old Post on quotes

Funny Quotes By Albert Einstein who was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are some of his quotes:

* “The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

* “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”

* “If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”

* “I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t make any difference!”

* “If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.”

* “I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”

* “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”

* “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

* “I am a deeply religious nonbeliever – This is a somewhat new kind of religion”

* “Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking”

* “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”

* “The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”

* “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.”

Nice quotes!

Pronouncation Problem

This is another joke from the gym, from CK, and I changed the joke slightly. Here it is.

An englishman, Alex visited a rural area in a town and greeted by the village head. Here is their conversation.

Village Head: Wealth come here (Welcome here)

Alex: Oh well, I’m supposed all of you aren’t rich, do you?

Village Head: Yay Yay!! Da villagers would rob you because you are rich, and treat your ass with a cane. (Yes Yes!! The villagers would love you because you are rich, and treat you as if a king)

Alex: Excuse me!

Village Head: You are being executed! (You are being excused)

Alex: What???!!!!

************************************************************************

Joke: Who can be the boss?

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. the brain said, ”I should be boss because i control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, ”We should be boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, ”We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” and so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the a**hole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the a**hole being the boss. So, the a**hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the a**hole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the s***!

Moral of the story: you don’t need brains to be a boss – any a**hole will do.

Does a Christian Name Important?

Random thoughts again.

My friend CK, or Chun Kiao to be specifically mentioned, told us about his previously funny experience at work. I asked him, ” Why did you change your name to Andrew? “
CK: In corporate world, Christian names are easily memorised and quite necessary as well.
SY: But if you used CK, its alright what?
CK: Ya, initially I thought so, but people don’t know there is such a name.
SY: Huh?
CK: I called some company and someone actually asked for my name. And I told her my name is CK. The next thing she asked me is “How do you spell it?” And I replied, ” C…K”. Obviously, people don’t know of such a name mah…

*** Burst into laughter ***

Imagine I use abbreviation as well and call myself WM, then maybe I need to spell it Da-Be-You M. Lol…